Have we lost our way?
Hello my friend,
Nothing in this world is certain, most things really out of our control. We craft and curate our lives sometimes with so much precision and perfection that we've left no room for magic, surprise, spontaneity, and then question why life can feel so dull, mundane and come crashing down around us when things don't go according to plan! The human experience is so interesting, vast, complex and simple at the time. What is the meaning of it all? What is the best way to go through it? The ancient peoples of the human race I believe had a deeper understanding of this and it seems (to me at least) that our modern lives, filled with all the things we could ever want or need, are lacking in true social connection. As if the more connected we have become with technology, social media, television etc, the more isolated and protective we have become...
When we lived in tribes, relying on each other to weather the seasons, threats, sickness, famine, we helped each other, banded together for support, taking care of children, looking after the sick and old, preparing food, weaving, hunting together, singing and dancing around the fire together. Have we lost our way?
In 2023 the WHO declared a loneliness epidemic; people without strong social connections face higher risks of stroke, dementia, depression, anxiety, and suicide. Social isolation and loneliness are widespread across every region and age group, with health consequences that rival smoking and obesity. The quality and frequency of your social relationships are as consequential to your long-term health as whether you exercise, what you eat, or whether you smoke. The economic cost: lonely people use more healthcare, are hospitalised more frequently and are less productive at work, with less affluent nations suffering more than wealthier nations.
Humans are hard wired for connection. Societies that foster trust and connection are more innovative, more secure and better able to respond to crises. The COVID-19 pandemic brought this truth into stark relief.
So what are the specific causes for this epidemic:
- Declining civic and community structures
- Geographic mobility and housing patterns
- The changing nature of work
- Digital technology and social media
- Delayed family formation and smaller households
- The COVID-19 pandemic
The loneliness epidemic is not only a structural problem but also a psychological one — requiring both environmental redesign (more walkable communities, civic infrastructure, workplace social norms) and individual-level support. For people whose loneliness is maintained by anxiety, avoidance, or past relational wounds, connecting with a therapist or developing emotional resilience can be an important part of the solution.
Whilst this is going to take some time, collaboration and effort from governments, workplaces and communities to solve, there are some things we can do as individuals to find solutions to some of the impacts.
- Mindfulness and meditation practices to help you feel centered in your body and mind
- Soothing Breathwork and somatic/restorative practices to balance the stresses of modern life
- Ask for help and support, this is not a weakness
- Promote open communication and being vulnerable with your family and closest friends
- Check in on people, especially those who live alone or don't have extended family for support
- Join a club, hobby group, or arrange more team build experiences at your workplace
- Be nice to your neighbours, talk to them, maybe you'll make a new friend!
In our big, connected, over-stimulated world it can be overwhelming, we don't know where to start or what to do, but there is always something we can do, and it starts close to home, with your friends, family and work colleagues, the barista at your local coffee shop... Start with a smile!
I will leave you with a wonderful poem by Mary Oliver and there are some links to further reading and resources below. And my book recommendation for the month: The Courage to Disliked is a very interesting look into how we relate to ourselves and others. (pic below) And as always, please reach out if you need support, someone to listen.
Sending you a smile, and a hug xxx Kirst
Wild Geese
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Check out these links to articles for further reading and depth on the subject:
1) Why WHO Declared Loneliness a Global Epidemic - ScienceInsights
2) Top Corporate Initiatives for Addressing Workplace Loneliness | Corporate Wellness | Employee Well-Being
3) 17 Ways Company Leaders Can Combat The ‘Loneliness Epidemic’
4) The Loneliness Epidemic: Connected but Alone – The Science Survey
